Pie

Today I had pie for breakfast....I feel that when one lives alone and has no one to hold them accountable for many things, it is best to be honest with others about what happens in the privacy of a single dwelling......and so I must confess that this morning, I had pie before I got ready for my day....do with it what you want.....

School...stay in school........

And once again crunch time is upon us. If you refer back to a blog entry posted in the last week of Nov. or early Dec. one might find thoughts that are similar to these. It is always at this point in time in the semester that one seems to frequently question is it worth it? All the stress, the lack of sleep,the walking on eggshells so as to not disturb the students who are even more on edge than yourself. Is it worth it. is it worth this one thin piece of paper that says you've been to hell and back, simply because it states degree on it.
Right now, from my side of the earth the answer to that question is, "no," not only that but it's a "hell no." However sometimes in a more cognitive state I am able to answer that question more rationally with an affirmative, "yes!" GOong to school is one of the greatest blessings one can ever receive, well that and the ability to always be a size 8......but seriously. In retrospect there is an extremely small amount of people on this earth that can say that they have received a college education, let alone been able to attend school at the master's level. I think that if we have the opportunity to go to school we should take it, we should always take it. This is not to say that those who choose not to are making the wrong decisions. What I am saying is that learning is a lifelong process.....it is somethign that we should absolutely never stop doing. NOt only that, but it's something to enjoy. There is a big big world out there, one full of amazing people places and things (also known as nouns), I think that only by exposing ourselves to those things, as scary as they might be, will we ever truly understand how great God is. It's pretty amazing if you think about it. We are part of something huge, something bigger then ourselves and our tiny little corner of the world. how sad would it be to stay in that corner your entire life and never be exposed to the beatuy going on around you. well now I'm just rambling. and have gotten way off track......school, stay in school....(sigh) I think i just had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders, it's amazing what a new perspective can do. School is a blessing, I bet if Jesus was around today, well, in person, he'd have like 15 degrees, although, would it be considered cheating when he took test....I mean he has direct connection with God and if God knows everything, technically....that's cheating. maybe I shouldn't concern myself with such nonsense and get back to my term paper....that's a good idea.

yeah....it's one of those blog entries

And so the time has come for me to discuss something on this blog that I have not yet covered. it is something that I had decided to not make common in my blogging, but I feel as though it is something that can be addressed from time to time. This topic is in fact the status of my love life. Which, for those of you who are not aware, is non-existent.

But today I think I realized why it is in fact non-existent.....I am invisible to the male eye. I believe that Guys see right through me to the girl at the next table, or a good friend sitting right next to me. I am just never an option.

I've often wondered if this is my fault, or if it's just the way things are for me? Do I come off as stand-offish, do I put out a vibe? This really is not my intention.
I feel like the girl on "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," (yes Owens, a movie reference) Not the confident one who makes a life for herself and stands upright when she walks down the street, but the one who is quite, silent, sinks into the background and often is overlooked.

Hmmmm this sounds kind of sad and pathetic but I feel as though it is best to be honest with yourself at both your high and low points. And while in no way do I think that confidence should come from how much interest the opposite sex has in you, One can not escape that human desire to be desired....make sense? And so this is me confronting that desire to be desired, and realizing, that I haven't seen it in anyone for a long time......and blaming it on my invisibility...ha....

Things I think about when I should be listening in class......

Napoloen was a bastard.
When the hell is the snow going to stop.
I can not believe the Millers are in the Keys right now.
I have got to get my life organized.....
How does that guy two seats down from me manage to snore when he's still awake?
I have been in school for 18 years....good Lord.....
I should have skipped class today
wonder what the cotton Gin looked like? what was that guy's name...Frederick Douglas? no that wasn't it...Wiley? hmm
I really do love Diet Dr. Pepper.
My friends are ridiculous....and I love it! Last night, Brooke was absolutely cracking me up! she kept spurratically (sp?) yelling things that made no sense, and amanda...welll she's just one of those amazing people who marches to her own drum with flare
The industrial revolution killed Christianity...or so Froese says
I am a fan of the Romantic era.
I leave for Africa in like six weeks........
I wonder what kind of place I'm staying.....I'm not a fan of rats, not going to lie
Schleiermacher......wonder how many times people have mispronounced his name?
Did I turn off the lighs in my house?
I need a cat
When is this class going to end?
I don't think I like Germany, never been there, but I don't really want to go.
somebody stop the snow

Under the Tuscan Sun

And so last night when I got home from work, the end of a not so productive and or good day, I put in a movie to watch while finishing some homework. It was then that I realized that I have a comfort movie. I think this is interesting because I've never heard of this before, but I guess it can happen. Movies can be a source of comfort or stability should that be what one is looking for.
Mine is Under the Tuscan Sun. I find myself watching it most often whenI feel trapped. The story is about a woman who is the victim of an affair, goes through a messy divorce and ends up on a trip to Italy, where she buys an old house, fixes it up and makes a new life for herself. This movie stirs my soul. Not becasue it's overwhelmingly deep or profound, or becasue it has amazing scenery of the Italian countryside (however it truly is remarkable there, or so it seems) but because it's about a normal person who finds strength within herself to make a huge changes in her life. She takes a huge risks, moving to a place where she doesn't know anybody, she doesn't konw the language and yet she knows this is what she needs to do, and she does it. I find that inspiring.
And so, whenever I feel trapped her in A-Town, or just am feeling kind of disappointed about where I'm at in life, I put this movie in. And while it doesn't fix my problems, or reveal to me the secret to eternal happiness, it does give me about two hours worth of inspiration. Life does suck sometimes, people will disappoint you, life will take twists and turns that you never in your wildest dreams would have expected.....but it does go on, and what you choose to do with it and how you choose to perceive it will make all the difference.

what the hell.......

For those of you who don't know, (all two of the four people who read this blog) the Anderson University campus has an over abundance of large, mean, and creepy squirrels. They tend to run about campus totally unaware of their surroundings and or care who they scare the shit out of (i.e. me).

However today we surpassed the oddness of campus squirrel activity.

I was almost to the library today when I heard a rather noisey rustling in the bushes. I looked over and there romping around in a pile of leaves was a giant black cat. It was chasing something through the leaves, it was like watching a live shooting of Animal Planet. I.....I.....is anyone else disturbed by this? now we have cats running around the campus, good Lord physical plant step it up! set some cat traps, control the housecat population on this campus!