I have a feeling you will be hearing much from Dr. Lewis

"Sometimes people can do the right thing without being the right person." ~Dr. James Lewis

This is something that Dr. Lewis said as he was discussing the difference between ethics and morals. See, morals are what you do, ethics is what you are, A) I'm not sure if the grammar is right in that sentence B) these are very rough definitions of the above mentioned words. All that to preface this.....this comment hit me like a 2 ton weight. We can spend all of our time acting and doing, but we must also understand the resoning behind the actions that we do. Sometimes I wonder if I do what I do because I know it's the right thing, or because I've been told that it's the right thing. I know that that is how I felt when I was growing up, that the faith I had was a faith that belonged to someone else.
Sometimes I lose the ambition to pursuit understanding, true understanding, it really is easier to live life on the coatails of another's beliefs....but is that really living life? I don't think that it is. I think that God gave us a brain so that we can enjoy the wonder that is thinking, and learning. Sometimes we take that for granted and just go through the motions of life doing what we have been told is the right thing and not thinking or understanding if it truly is or not. I don't know....maybe this blog is just a bunch of rambling, maybe it's just alot of doing and not much thinking. Either way it's time to stop being an empty machine....it's time to take responsibilty in my actions, to look into the mirrorpool of my soul and seek out the true image that is Miriam Newell.....this could take some time.....

In Those Years

In those years, people will say,
we lost trackof the meaning of we, of you
we found ourselves reduced to I
and the whole thing became silly, ironic, terrible;
we were trying to live a personal life
and yes, that was the only life we could bear witness to
But the great dark birds of history screamed and plunged into our personal weather
They were headed somewhere else but their beaks and pinions drove
along the shore, through the rags of fog where we stood,
saying I.
- Adrienne Rich,

a searing image

You’re in my mind baby Now and always
You’re in my mind baby Now and always
The road I'm walking Might fall away
You’re in my mind baby Now and always
~David Gray (Now and Always)

I realize that this song is about a person, but is it okay to feel this way about a place? I think that no matter what I end up doing in my life, Africa will always be a part of me. It will be with me wherever I go. The faces the land the experience has been burned in to my mind's eye, i now filter life through that burnt image, I just pray that it is something that doesn't blind me from seeing all of life.

Back to the Blog...

and the ellipses so it seems....one of my favorite parts of the the english language!

So Africa was, well, I'm not quite sure I know how to describe it. All I know is that life is different now. Things have change, I've changed, the people around me have changed, my thoughts and ideas abut life have changed. This is not bad, I've decided. This is actually a great thing, sometimes in life we need something major to happen to us that shakes us out of our slumber, out of our routine, out of the monotony of life.

I guess we'll just have to see what direction life goes from here, I'm kinda excited, kind of nervous, but just really curious as to what the future holds.